Have you noticed how selective our sense of hearing is? It seems like a skill we learn early in life is picking and choosing what we listen to, while simultaneously giving the appearance of doing so. Our incredible hearing mechanism allows us to not only take in the cacophony of sounds around us but to also distinguish one from another.

We’re able to pick out our mother’s voice from a crowd and smile in recognition. Teenagers identify their favorite band after the first chord is strummed, learn the sound of specific models of autos, and identify the pleasant sound of a bag of potato chips being opened 100 yards away. Seasoned chefs can determine whether a sauteed dish is being properly prepared by the sound it makes in the pan, mechanics know by sound when an engine is firing correctly, and a musician can tune an instrument with pitch perfect if they have the ear. All of this can take place while other sounds are flooding our ear canals because human beings are able to selectively focus on what they want to listen to. They hear everything, but only pay attention to the sounds with which they connect.

Managers become leaders not when they receive a new title, but rather when they learn to listen to others and block out the other noise that surrounds them. Employees respect and align with leaders who pay attention to what they say, take it in, evaluate what is offered, and act from the standpoint of understanding. Listening is a key to understanding and understanding unlocks the potential to excel within each person.

“One of the sincerest forms of respect is actually listening to what another has to say.”
- Bryant H. McGill (Author, Activist, Social Entrepreneur)

Teachers constantly wrestle with student and peer listening skills. They too can suffer from the same lack of connection with what is said. It is a two-sided issue that is the foundation for learning. Graduates who are positioned for real success must have the ability and the desire to listen. The question is, “Can this be taught?”

We all benefit from learning how to be “active listeners.” Some refer to this process as being present in the moment – the ability to put aside other distractions when listening is required. So many of us (myself included) are busy determining how we intend to respond to another person that we fail to listen and understand what is being offered. We choose to quickly draw opinions and seek to react before the foundation of what is being offered is known. This creates frustration, friction and inevitably – reaction – a basis for unqualified disagreement.

Assuming that many of your students seek to rise to the level of chef, manager, or even owner at some point, we need to help them build great listening skills and know how to set the stage for others to do the same.

Here are a few pointers on how to accomplish this:

• Whenever speaking with another person make sure you (and they) engage with eye contact.

• Point to the Cardinal Rule of listening: “Don’t interrupt the person speaking.” When you interrupt you send a cue they are less important than you; their ideas or comments are somehow secondary to yours.

• Pay attention without drawing early conclusions or judging the person speaking. Be a good receiver first and give yourself time to discover the whole story.

• When the speaker pauses then you can interject with a qualifying question, which is an effort to clarify what is being offered rather than counteract their point.

• Pay attention to non-verbal cues showing frustration or disconnect with you as a listener. They may be offering you an indication of how to listen more actively.

• Avoid planning your response until you have the full story. Give indications that you are listening intently (nod your head, smile, jot down some notes, etc.).

• Take away unnecessary distractions: phones, computer screens, etc. when a conversation is needed.

• Don’t assume an answer from you is needed. Sometimes the other person simply wants someone to pay attention.

• Be an example of good listening in the classroom. Remember the role of the teacher is to guide the person toward understanding. You are not always the person with the answers, you are the person who helps the answer come to light. Oftentimes, asking “why” will help the speaker find their own answers.

“Listening is a magnetic and strange thing, a creative force. The friends who listen to us are the ones we move toward. When we are listened to, it creates us, makes us unfold and expand.”
- Karl A. Menninger (American Psychiatrist and Author)

PLAN BETTER – TRAIN HARDER

Paul Sorgule, MS, AAC, president of Harvest America Ventures, a mobile restaurant incubator based in Saranac Lake, N.Y., is the former vice president of New England Culinary Institute and a former dean at Paul Smith’s College. Contact him at This email address is being protected from spambots. You need JavaScript enabled to view it..