The Ritz Carlton Hotel’s business motto is this: We are ladies and gentlemen serving ladies and gentlemen. This motto differentiates the premier company from many in the crowded field. It has deep meaning; inferring that those who work for Ritz Carlton are expected to carry themselves professionally and personally with grace, compassion and respect. To the employee, this is the guideline for how they conduct themselves and a statement of support for how the property will enforce guest conduct. The motto is also a bold statement to those who participate as guests with Ritz properties. The expectation is that the same expressions of grace, compassion and respect will be offered to them by the hotel employees. It is the way civilized people should treat each other.

So, where does this behavior come from and how can it be nurtured? Yes, it begins in the home, but the world around us can push individuals in a different direction. Is there a role for educators to play in professional behavior reinforcement? Is this our responsibility as teachers and mentors?

Respect, grace and compassion are conditioned attributes and are not necessarily innate. At a time when many of these behaviors seem less apparent, there is an increased need for us to create those benchmarks in our classroom and kitchen. Maybe it is time for tomorrow’s chefs to be the torchbearers for ladies and gentlemen. Is this naive and old fashioned? Maybe so, but I guarantee those individuals who carry themselves in a professional manner will be noticed and admired.

Where do we start? What about starting with etiquette? Now, push aside your immediate thoughts of Ann Landers’s or Emily Post’s book of manners and think back to the basics your family may have lived by:

• Saying please and thank you
• Answering the phone with your name and asking how you might help
• Greeting someone with eye contact, a smile, (when Covid has passed its contagious stage) a firm handshake, and verbalizing a warm hello followed by, “A pleasure to meet (or see) you”
• Waiting your turn to speak
• Thinking of others and trying to be selfless
• Holding the door for others
• Removing your hat when entering a room
• Not chewing with an open mouth

These are simple and important.

Perhaps you may remember the rules of manners that were a part of our culture and signaled respect for others. They may be in short supply but can be brought back to life if we view this as part of our educational work.

Etiquette in dining addresses how people sit at a table, how a table is set, which utensil is used for which course, the proper order customers are served, how a glass of wine is poured, when to clear plates and so on. These are examples of a more civilized approach toward our interactions in the dining room and the respect given to the process of dining vs. eating.

Are these etiquette rules frivolous and unimportant? No, I do not believe they are. Maybe, just maybe, a return to civil discourse, setting the stage for respectful interactions, and relearning how to listen and respect others can begin with these simple gestures. Promoting a return to civil behavior may be part of our role as culinary educators. Perhaps these gestures will evolve into acquired behavior and not a component of a person’s job description.

Building student dining experiences into your curriculum is a great start. Position them with a chef/etiquette coach at each table to explain why certain behaviors are important and how to build them into their everyday interactions. Make sure you set the stage in your classroom with the use of please and thank you. Require students to remove their hats once in the classroom (not the kitchen) and insist that when a person is speaking others should give them the opportunity to finish without interruption. (This is something our news media and politicians could learn from.)

What goes around, comes around. Let’s help teach the next generation of cooks and chefs to be civil and respectful.

"Good manners are just a way of showing other people that we have respect for them." ⁠
—Bill Kelly

"To learn etiquette, is actually learning how to see others and respect them."
⁠—Yixing Zhang

PLAN BETTER – TRAIN HARDER

Paul Sorgule, MS, AAC, president of Harvest America Ventures, a mobile restaurant incubator based in Saranac Lake, N.Y., is the former vice president of New England Culinary Institute and a former dean at Paul Smith’s College. Contact him at This email address is being protected from spambots. You need JavaScript enabled to view it..