Deepening

One of the key ways we can expand the range of people we want to get to know better is to deepen our relationships with the people we already know. We can find new ways to connect, new things to do, new areas for collaboration and new topics for good discussions. There may be things that you have done together before that you can now do again in another way—such as some research, a special event, a cooperative. Or we may have limited the ways in which we have conversed with, talked to or participated with our professional friends. If so, try new ways to engage with them.

Some questions that might help you to move in this direction include: Have you reached out to them recently? When was the last time you talked to them at any length? Have you thought about what kind of cooperative project you could do with them? Have you considered what they are interested in this year? Have you met them recently for a check-in lunch to see what is happening in their personal and professional lives? There are many ways to deepen a relationship with someone you already know. This fall might just be the time to try them.

Extending
Besides deepening the connections you have, you can also broaden the range of people you talk to and work with. This fall might be a time to expand your circle and include new people whom you have never made time to do something with. Consider the people you would like to have in your expanded set of contacts. Who do you want to get to know better? Who has opened a new business in the area, and have you made connect with them? If you asked your closest colleagues, which new people should you meet or get to know better? Who would be on their list? Have you considered new colleagues at the school or college where you work? What committees can you serve on to add new persons to your range of contacts? These questions may lead to ideas about who you want to reach out to and how you can do so. Besides expanding the range, you might want to provide some recognition to the people in your professional network.

Appreciating
Although we may not consider it part of expanding our connections, honoring and appreciating individuals is a way to recognize them and their contributions to you, your work, your classes and your institution. Appreciating them also deepens your relationship with them, whether you thank them in a very private way or make it a public recognition. One of the most common—but not always well practiced—methods of showing them that they are appreciated involves sending, or delivering in person, hand-written thank-you notes. It shows that you notice and appreciate what they have been doing or what they just did. Sending hand-written thank-you notes also serves as a great role model for your students.

You can also recognize individuals by awarding them a certificate or a letter of public recognition from you or your program. At New York University, many guest speakers are delighted to get a lovely certificate of appreciation signed by the dean. It still surprises me how much it means to them, even though they have reached significant heights in their professional lives. It reminds me that people really appreciate personalized recognition and a special form of thank you.

Inviting individuals to serve as a guest lecturer or a judge of student accomplishments—food or public presentation—also shows how much you appreciate them, and it typically makes them feel good to help out. You can also demonstrate your affection or appreciation through a small gift that is personal to them and not just another souvenir of your institution. The more appropriate, personal and individual the gift, the more appreciated it usually is. And giving is part of basic networking, as well.

Networking as Giving
Many of us are good at networking. We teach that set of skills to our students, and we keep alive our contacts. However, sometimes we forget that networking is really a process of giving to another person and not taking. So consider who you know that you want to give something to: an idea, a suggestion, a reference, an article, an opportunity to participate, a chance to visit your program. Think about the ways in which you can begin to give new things to the persons in your network or even add people to the network by giving them references or contacts. You may find that just by focusing on giving to others in your network, you have started to expand your circle and deepen your relationships.

Summary
Thank you for reading this column on expanding our connections as faculty members. Next month, we will talk about another teaching issue: using social media in our classrooms.

If you have comments about this topic or suggestions for others, send them to me at This email address is being protected from spambots. You need JavaScript enabled to view it., and I will include them in future Mayo’s Clinics.

Dr. Fred Mayo, CHE, CHT, is a clinical professor at New York University and a frequent presenter at CAFÉ events nationwide.